Mene

So, it's Monday of the week I am supposed to leave for France, and in typical Mark fashion- there are plenty of things still up in the air. For example, I still have to call the Chicago French consulate to see if I can get an appointment for to get my visa, so I can actually- you know- go to France. The woman there said that it shouldn't be a problem to get me an appointment, even if the whole month's appointments are booked online. So, I guess that shouldn't be a problem.

The other night, it occured to me, "Holy shit, I am actually going to France. Wow, I don't have any pants to wear." That was my actual thought: I have no pants. Not, "I'm going to miss my wife and family." Not, "I hope that my culinary skills are up to the challenge." No, I worry that I don't have any pants. But seriously, I don't have any casual pants other than jeans, so I'm gonna stick out like a sore thumb. And speaking of my jeans, they're old as hell, so not only will I certainly look like an American, but also, because those jeans are so crappy, I'll probably look like the only homeless American wandering the streets of gay Pariee.




To recap, I have no visa and no pants. An auspicious start, to be sure.




Regardless of my visa-less/pant-less situation, I'm scarred as hell. Really, I'm starting over in a field that demands perfection. I'm good at what I do, but when I get nervous, I kind of clam up. I hope that I'm up to this really. The French are pretty psycho about their food, and I admire them for that. I just don't know if I can meet their standards. I guess the defeatist way of looking at things is that even if I suck in France, I'll still be pretty good in the States. Well, yippee.




The other night, my family and I were at the Pritzker (here's a picture I took of it) to hear/see a flamenco show for my mom's birthday. It was great. Everybody was laughing and talking; the wine was good and the food was too. In the middle of the celebration, I noticed the moon, and it floored me. I guess it was beautiful but also comforting to know that I can look up and see it in France. I got some good shots of it, and it's like a connection to everybody here. So, there, I guess I really will miss everyone. I didn't doubt it, but it's easy to forget how much you have to leave behind, how many people love you, how much there is to accomplish, how frightening it is to be "old to start over in this field" when you're only 30, how much there is to lose and how much to gain. It's easy to forget to worry about all of that stuff, when you don't even have your visa yet and when you don't even have any pants. But I digress...



So, I'll leave you with this, to quote my wife, as she quotes her favorite Columbian crooner, "Ladies and gentleman, I give you- the moon."

See you soon.